When we received the photos of Rosie's first mother a couple of weeks ago, Gareth and I had a difficult time trying to decide when/how to show them to Rosie. In the end, we decided that it would be best to show her now, which would hopefully provide her with an outlet to express some of the grief and loss she has experienced in the last year.
Honestly, I was a little nervous. I am still exhausted from the last few weeks of difficult behavior, and I wondered what else this would bring on. But, I decided that dealing with any difficulties now would be better than allowing them to fester.
With the boys away at Music Camp last week and Gareth at work, Rosie and I had plenty of time to be "just Mommy Rosie", so I took advantage of the quiet setting to show them to Rosie.
With her on my lap, I pulled up the photo on our computer and showed it to her. When I asked her who it was, she pointed at herself and said, "Rosie". So, I pointed at her first mother and asked her if she knew who she was? She smiled and looked at me and said, "Rosie, Momma". I agreed that yes, it was her Momma. She giggled and pointed out her Mommas' headwrap and a scar on her forehead. Then, she wanted to tell me about the old shoes she had on in the picture. After a minute, I pointed at myself and asked who I was. Her immediate response, "Mommy". Then, she pointed at the picture on the computer, saying, "Rosie, Momma" and then putting her arms around me, she said, "Rosie, Mommy".
Our social worker felt that this was a very positive sign of Rosie's settling into our family and her ability to reconcile the events of the last year in her young mind.
And, as for me, I was so pleased. Two women, one Momma, one Mommy, both able to hold a special place in Rosie's life. I love to hear all of my kids call me Mommy, and it feels even more special now when I hear it from Rosie.