Thinking that I need to change the name of the blog. It no longer feels like I have many mini munchkins at my house. At least 85-90% of the time, it feels quite manageable. Now, that other 10-15, well, not so much. And, those days keep me grounded, aware of my own weakness and sin nature and how reliant I am on my Heavenly Father.
Thinking about how we'll know when it's the right time to add another munchkin to the mix. (Did I mention that on Valentine's Day Gareth surprised me by talking about when we adopt again and what we needed in order to be ready for an infant? Then, he really surprised me by mentioning it in Sunday School as a prayer request.)
Thinking that I must be (at least a little) insane to consider a new baby.....but certain that I want to.
Thinking about how Rosie will cope with a new addition to the family (she is the one who asks for a baby in our family most often) and wondering what is the perfect length of time to wait before we start the paperwork pregnancy again.
Thinking that adding number 4 really will give people reason to "pigeon hole" me. Not only am I a homeschooler, I'm one of those "nut job" homeschoolers with a million kids! :) (Mind you, I never set out to be a homeschooler or to have a million kids, it's just kind of happened as God has led us step by step along the way. I don't know what the future holds or how many more children it holds, but I know that I love my life and my family and am content to wait and see what God has planned for us.)
Thinking about how much I love to watch Gareth cuddling a baby. A dear friend of mine recently had her 3rd, and I didn't get much cuddle time in with her this last Connection Sunday, because Gareth came over and "stole" her from me and spent the rest of the evening snuggling with her.
Thinking that I'm so glad that I can trust the Lord to order our steps and know that we don't have to make these decisions on our own.
P.S. If I do ever manage to end up with a million kids and we're still homeschooling, then I will consider myself to be in good company. I've gotten to know a couple of those "nut job" families over the last year, and they are raising some amazingly great kids!
P.S.S. How does "Life with the Not So Many Not So Mini Munchkins" sound?
Loving, Laughing, and Learning to Embrace My Life as a Living Sacrifice
Showing posts with label Mommy's Musings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mommy's Musings. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Happy New Year
Despite my plan, it appears that I will be awake long enough to see in the New Year. (That's the price for getting behind with my blogging, and I want to catch up the last few weeks so that I can get 2009 printed in book form for the munchkins to have to look back on some day.)
2009 has been the craziest ride yet since Gareth and I have been together. I have made some of my happiest memories, been more stressed than I ever would have thought possible, done some of the hardest work I've done as a Mommy, and had some of the most rewarding moments possible.
As I end this year, I am more thankful than ever for my sweet husband. Helping keep the kitchen clean, supporting my work as a homeschooling Mom, being my encourager when I struggle with whether I'm being a good Mom, providing for our family in the midst of a tough economic year, and keeping me laughing, he continues to be my best friend.
Sweet Noah is an anything but typical 6-year old. He has the typical lack of coordination and gappy grin of a 6-year old, and a sweet spirit that leaves me so grateful for this gift from God. I love that he still likes my lullabies and wants to hold my hand when we go to the store together. He is growing into a young man that I am so, so proud of. I can't wait to see who he continues to become this next year.
Nathan continues to be my ornery, strong-willed boy. He is almost 5, and his eyes still twinkle with mischief like they did when he was 2. He loves to sneak up behind you to poke you in the bottom, or to wrap himself around your legs for a hug that threatens to knock you over. He is generous to a fault. He tries at least once a week to give me the money from his piggy bank as a gift. He is a complex little man, and I have a hard time knowing what is going on in his head some times. He and Rosie together can be the sweetest of friends, and the most competitive of enemies ever. He often leaves me shaking my head and praying for wisdom and guidance in how to raise him. And, he definitely leaves me humbled in my parenting abilities, but that makes me love him even more. Nathan will be coming home from pre-school to start school with Mommy this New Year. I am looking forward to the chance to spend more one-on-one time with him.
Rosie is a bundle of contradictions. She is very girly and loves high heels and beads and fancy dresses. She is already anxious for a "big girl" figure (can't think of a more polite way to say it!). Her favorite color is pink, and she loves all things princess. But, she also loves mud, wrestling, riding the 4-wheeler while standing up, and playing with Thomas the tank engine. I am so proud of Rosie. She has made such good progress. There have been times in the last year when I have been at my wits' end and more stressed than I could ever have imagined while trying to help her adjust and become part of the family, but God is faithful, and I can honestly say that I am so grateful for this sweet little girl that God saw fit to put into our family. Her hugs and "I love you's" are sweeter knowing some of the hard places we have visited in the last 8 months. Last week, she asked me, "Mommy, when Rosie tall (Rosie speak for when I am big), still live at MommyDaddy's house?" When I replied with a hug and a yes, she wrapped her arms around me and said "I love you, Mommy". Then she began to sit and tell me in great detail about the day that we first met. She has remembered that first week in such amazing detail. And, when she was done, she said, "you, Mommy Moffatt, I, Rosie Moffatt. I live MommyDaddy's house. Thank you, Mommy". We still have progress to make and issues to deal with, but oh how I love this little girl.
And that, is my sweet little family in a nutshell. In the midst of the fear and uncertainty this current world finds itself trapped in, I am grateful for the truth that God is in control and that I can trust my family to His loving care. This year, my prayer for you, is that you will come to know Him more, love Him better, and trust Him fully with your future
2009 has been the craziest ride yet since Gareth and I have been together. I have made some of my happiest memories, been more stressed than I ever would have thought possible, done some of the hardest work I've done as a Mommy, and had some of the most rewarding moments possible.
As I end this year, I am more thankful than ever for my sweet husband. Helping keep the kitchen clean, supporting my work as a homeschooling Mom, being my encourager when I struggle with whether I'm being a good Mom, providing for our family in the midst of a tough economic year, and keeping me laughing, he continues to be my best friend.
Sweet Noah is an anything but typical 6-year old. He has the typical lack of coordination and gappy grin of a 6-year old, and a sweet spirit that leaves me so grateful for this gift from God. I love that he still likes my lullabies and wants to hold my hand when we go to the store together. He is growing into a young man that I am so, so proud of. I can't wait to see who he continues to become this next year.
Nathan continues to be my ornery, strong-willed boy. He is almost 5, and his eyes still twinkle with mischief like they did when he was 2. He loves to sneak up behind you to poke you in the bottom, or to wrap himself around your legs for a hug that threatens to knock you over. He is generous to a fault. He tries at least once a week to give me the money from his piggy bank as a gift. He is a complex little man, and I have a hard time knowing what is going on in his head some times. He and Rosie together can be the sweetest of friends, and the most competitive of enemies ever. He often leaves me shaking my head and praying for wisdom and guidance in how to raise him. And, he definitely leaves me humbled in my parenting abilities, but that makes me love him even more. Nathan will be coming home from pre-school to start school with Mommy this New Year. I am looking forward to the chance to spend more one-on-one time with him.
Rosie is a bundle of contradictions. She is very girly and loves high heels and beads and fancy dresses. She is already anxious for a "big girl" figure (can't think of a more polite way to say it!). Her favorite color is pink, and she loves all things princess. But, she also loves mud, wrestling, riding the 4-wheeler while standing up, and playing with Thomas the tank engine. I am so proud of Rosie. She has made such good progress. There have been times in the last year when I have been at my wits' end and more stressed than I could ever have imagined while trying to help her adjust and become part of the family, but God is faithful, and I can honestly say that I am so grateful for this sweet little girl that God saw fit to put into our family. Her hugs and "I love you's" are sweeter knowing some of the hard places we have visited in the last 8 months. Last week, she asked me, "Mommy, when Rosie tall (Rosie speak for when I am big), still live at MommyDaddy's house?" When I replied with a hug and a yes, she wrapped her arms around me and said "I love you, Mommy". Then she began to sit and tell me in great detail about the day that we first met. She has remembered that first week in such amazing detail. And, when she was done, she said, "you, Mommy Moffatt, I, Rosie Moffatt. I live MommyDaddy's house. Thank you, Mommy". We still have progress to make and issues to deal with, but oh how I love this little girl.
And that, is my sweet little family in a nutshell. In the midst of the fear and uncertainty this current world finds itself trapped in, I am grateful for the truth that God is in control and that I can trust my family to His loving care. This year, my prayer for you, is that you will come to know Him more, love Him better, and trust Him fully with your future
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
O Christmas Tree
Our Christmas tree is up. Oh how I love this tree! Well, more specifically, the ornaments. As I unpacked them last week-end, I commented to Gareth that it was just like unwrapping old friends.
The next year, I happily added some pictures of the 2 little reasons for putting up a Christmas tree.
In all of the commercial pressure to make Christmas bigger, better, and more glamorous, may I encourage you to slow down, keep it simple, and use this Advent season to make loving memories and remind yourself of the true meaning of Christmas? Sweet memories of home and family and time spent together will be remembered long after the memories of "cool" presents and fashionable excesses have faded.
What I don't love is the star which always tries to lean. But, it's part of the tradition. The star wants to lean, and I spend the Christmas season battling with it.
Also, note the cat under the tree. Again, this is Christmas tradition. From the second Sophie spies the tree going up, she positions herself to wait for the tree skirt so that she can make her comfy bed for the month. (Please ignore the chairs stacked on the kitchen table in the background. I was getting ready to mop the floor.)
Our tree isn't fancy or glamorous. But, it is very much us, and most of the ornaments hold special memories.
Here is the angel that I had on the top of my miniature Christmas tree in my dorm room in college. Add a bit of string, and she now hangs from the tree. I remember how much I loved my little tree in my dorm room, and then I remember how I discovered that if you used Windex to clean your dorm room floor it made it very slick, so I polished the whole floor with Windex and turned it into an indoor-ice skating rink for a few friends and I!
These two are part of a set of glass ornaments filled with old-fashioned animals. I bought them in 2002. It had been a tough year, and I was really struggling with the fact that after trying for 2 years, we had not succeeded in being pregnant and had been told that we likely wouldn't. I hadn't had the heart to put up a tree that year, but the day after Christmas I was out shopping with my Mom when I found these and fell in love with them. I could just imagine a little kid adoring the animals, and so I bought them in the hope of being able to use them someday. Little did I know that I was already pregnant. Morning sickness set in on New Years' Eve, and it was the best Christmas present ever. 
The next year we had a sweet little 3-month old who wasn't mobile yet, so we could just lay him under the tree to enjoy the lights. We didn't have many ornaments and couldn't afford to buy a lot more, but he sure did love laying under that tree.
The next year we had a VERY active toddler and another one soon to make his arrival, so I very carefully made some soft, non-breakable ornaments and bought some wooden ones that would hold up to being handled by a toddler.
The next year, I happily added some pictures of the 2 little reasons for putting up a Christmas tree.
Last year, the entire family spent an evening making "cinnamon applesauce glue" ornaments as part of our advent activities. They still make the whole house smell great.
And this year, we have also added a very special ornament.
In all of the commercial pressure to make Christmas bigger, better, and more glamorous, may I encourage you to slow down, keep it simple, and use this Advent season to make loving memories and remind yourself of the true meaning of Christmas? Sweet memories of home and family and time spent together will be remembered long after the memories of "cool" presents and fashionable excesses have faded.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Thankfulness-A Chance to Share With Our Church Family
Our church had a Thanksgiving service and pie social tonight. We were honored to be one of 3 families asked to share what God had done in our lives this year and what we were thankful for.
My brain ACHED as I tried to figure out how to fit everything I could think about from the last year (particularly the last 7 months).
In the end, this is what I shared:
2009 has been a year of big changes for our family, as Rosie became the 5th Moffatt. From my earliest days, I can remember desiring to adopt at least part of my children, and this year saw that dream come true.
In May of 2007, Gareth and I both became convinced that God was leading us to adopt a child and we began the adoption process. The next year and a half were full of paperwork, home studies, psychological profiles, medical exams, and waiting.
In October of 2008, our savings and fundraising efforts were exhausted and we found ourselves $11,000 short. Over the next three months, we watched in awe as God provided all of the money we needed through friends and family around the globe.
On January 6 of this year, we received a phone call that said, “Congratulations! Today is the day”, and we saw Rosie’s picture for the first time.
On April 13, I met Rosie and on April 18 after a 28 hour trip, Rosie and I stepped off of the plane and she came home to her forever family.
Tonight, Rosie has been home for 7 months and I would not be truthful if I stood here and told you that adoption is easy and painless. It isn’t always. There have been days of discouragement and times when I doubt that I am truly equipped for this adventure.
But, as I look back over the last year, I can see time and again God’s faithfulness.
Our list of stories could go on for a couple of hours, but to hold it to my 3-minute time limit, I’ll hit only a few highlights:
Our family is thankful for God’s faithfulness to provide the funds needed to bring Rosie home. For the last 10 weeks of last year, we had at least 1 check arrive in our mailbox each week from someone who said God had prompted them to be a part. Our boys had seen me crying as we became aware of the lack of funds, and it was an amazing and humbling experience to be able to see them pray that God would provide the money to bring their sister home and then to watch their joy as they saw God provide all of the money needed. We are especially grateful to those of you here who supported our family with your prayers, friendship, and finances through our adoption journey.
We are thankful that when we asked God to send us the child who we would be the perfect family for and who would be the perfect fit for our family that he sent us Rosie. Seeing her walk off of the airplane and straight into the arms of her Daddy and brothers like she had always belonged there is a testament to the work that God had done to prepare her heart and ours for that day.
We are thankful for amazing memories: first hugs, first kisses, first “I love you’s”, first ice creams, first times to hear her call us Mommy and Daddy, hearing her first prayers, and the excitement and wonder that she brings to life as we see her experience so many firsts.
We are thankful for the strength and wisdom that He provides on the days when we wonder what to do and what to say and how to deal with the challenges of raising a little one who did not have the advantages of early training, discipline, and stability.
James 1:27 says : Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
We are thankful that in God’s wisdom and plan, He has given Christians the responsibility to care for those who have no family and are especially grateful that He has allowed us to be a part of His plan for Rosie’s life.
We believe that adoption is evangelism in its’ most personal and intimate form, and we are grateful to be a part of sharing the love of an earthly father with Rosie in anticipation of the day when she will come to a personal saving relationship with her Heavenly Father.
Now more than ever, I realize how much my Heavenly Father loves me and I am grateful that He has given me the opportunity to understand that love a little better. And, I am even more grateful that he has given us the opportunity to show Rosie how wide and long and high and deep His love really is.
My brain ACHED as I tried to figure out how to fit everything I could think about from the last year (particularly the last 7 months).
In the end, this is what I shared:
2009 has been a year of big changes for our family, as Rosie became the 5th Moffatt. From my earliest days, I can remember desiring to adopt at least part of my children, and this year saw that dream come true.
In May of 2007, Gareth and I both became convinced that God was leading us to adopt a child and we began the adoption process. The next year and a half were full of paperwork, home studies, psychological profiles, medical exams, and waiting.
In October of 2008, our savings and fundraising efforts were exhausted and we found ourselves $11,000 short. Over the next three months, we watched in awe as God provided all of the money we needed through friends and family around the globe.
On January 6 of this year, we received a phone call that said, “Congratulations! Today is the day”, and we saw Rosie’s picture for the first time.
On April 13, I met Rosie and on April 18 after a 28 hour trip, Rosie and I stepped off of the plane and she came home to her forever family.
Tonight, Rosie has been home for 7 months and I would not be truthful if I stood here and told you that adoption is easy and painless. It isn’t always. There have been days of discouragement and times when I doubt that I am truly equipped for this adventure.
But, as I look back over the last year, I can see time and again God’s faithfulness.
Our list of stories could go on for a couple of hours, but to hold it to my 3-minute time limit, I’ll hit only a few highlights:
Our family is thankful for God’s faithfulness to provide the funds needed to bring Rosie home. For the last 10 weeks of last year, we had at least 1 check arrive in our mailbox each week from someone who said God had prompted them to be a part. Our boys had seen me crying as we became aware of the lack of funds, and it was an amazing and humbling experience to be able to see them pray that God would provide the money to bring their sister home and then to watch their joy as they saw God provide all of the money needed. We are especially grateful to those of you here who supported our family with your prayers, friendship, and finances through our adoption journey.
We are thankful that when we asked God to send us the child who we would be the perfect family for and who would be the perfect fit for our family that he sent us Rosie. Seeing her walk off of the airplane and straight into the arms of her Daddy and brothers like she had always belonged there is a testament to the work that God had done to prepare her heart and ours for that day.
We are thankful for amazing memories: first hugs, first kisses, first “I love you’s”, first ice creams, first times to hear her call us Mommy and Daddy, hearing her first prayers, and the excitement and wonder that she brings to life as we see her experience so many firsts.
We are thankful for the strength and wisdom that He provides on the days when we wonder what to do and what to say and how to deal with the challenges of raising a little one who did not have the advantages of early training, discipline, and stability.
James 1:27 says : Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
We are thankful that in God’s wisdom and plan, He has given Christians the responsibility to care for those who have no family and are especially grateful that He has allowed us to be a part of His plan for Rosie’s life.
We believe that adoption is evangelism in its’ most personal and intimate form, and we are grateful to be a part of sharing the love of an earthly father with Rosie in anticipation of the day when she will come to a personal saving relationship with her Heavenly Father.
Now more than ever, I realize how much my Heavenly Father loves me and I am grateful that He has given me the opportunity to understand that love a little better. And, I am even more grateful that he has given us the opportunity to show Rosie how wide and long and high and deep His love really is.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
How wide and long and high and deep
I am trying to help Rosie learn to enjoy reading as her comprehension of English is growing rapidly. She doesn't really sit very well if I try to read to all of the kids together, so I have started cuddling up with her one on one to read just before she goes to bed at night.
This week I chose a book that I bought for her before she came home but that we hadn't read yet called "I Love You This Much".
It starts with a paraphrase of Ephesians 3: 17-18, "I pray that you may have power to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ".
The story is about the love of a Mommy Bear and her cub. Throughout the day Mommy Bear sings a little song to her cub: I love you best. I love you most. I love you high. I love you low. I love you deep. I love you wide. I love you THIS much.
Rosie loves it. So do I.
I was in need of a new verse to pray for the many mini munchkins, and this book came at just the perfect time. My new verse to pray for them: And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is Ephesians 3:17 and 18
This week I chose a book that I bought for her before she came home but that we hadn't read yet called "I Love You This Much".
It starts with a paraphrase of Ephesians 3: 17-18, "I pray that you may have power to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ".
The story is about the love of a Mommy Bear and her cub. Throughout the day Mommy Bear sings a little song to her cub: I love you best. I love you most. I love you high. I love you low. I love you deep. I love you wide. I love you THIS much.
Rosie loves it. So do I.
I was in need of a new verse to pray for the many mini munchkins, and this book came at just the perfect time. My new verse to pray for them: And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is Ephesians 3:17 and 18
Thursday, May 7, 2009
The Ethiopia Chronicles-Visit to an Orphanage
Having just re-read what I've written, I recognise that I have rambled, the sentence structure isn't great, some of the spelling is probably less than perfect, and it isn't eloquent. But, I'm not going to try to fix it. This was what has been on my heart and in my head, and I think I'm just going to have to be content that I've finally gotten it written down. I hope you'll overlook the poor writing and instead look at the content. So, here it is:
Thursday arrived, and I was excited. Rosie seemed to be doing great with me overall, and we were due to spend the morning at Kids' Care Orphanage, lunch out at a pizza restaurant, and then on to Gelgela Orphanage before a visit to the Lepers Hospital. But really, the excitement was all about the orphanage.
I love kids. Spend any time around me, and you'll figure that out. I always have. I think I got it from my Grandma. We had heard great things about the orphanages from previous families who had travelled, and I was excited to go and love on all of the kids. And, to be completely truthful, I was a little nervous. How could I go to Ethiopia and only bring home one child in need of a home? It was a question I had been asking myself and Gareth for months. I knew all of the reasons why we couldn't/shouldn't try to right now, and I knew the timing wasn't right, but I wondered if my mind and my heart would both manage to deal with that when confronted up front and personally when surrounded by children without a forever family.
After a quick breakfast in our room, we grabbed our suitcases of donations and headed for the bus. After a short drive, we turned down a narrow street and our bus stopped in front of some silver gates.
The gates were opened for us, and we headed in. There in the courtyard were dozens of children, the youngest looking about 3 and the oldest looking around 12 or 13. They were all waiting for us, and everyone (our group) included looked shy and nervous. We said hi, and some of them waved, but no one moved. So after a couple of awkward seconds, I walked about halfway towards them, and then knelt down and asked the nearest little boy if he knew "High 5". With a big smile on his face he came over, gave me 5, and then there was a rush of little kids anxious to give 5s, get hugs, and tell their names. Several of the little girls gave 5s and then wrapped their arms around me, desperate for hugs.
Some of the other families had their candy out, and the whole courtyard was a beehive of activity with children getting candy, wanting hugs, and excited to have their pictures taken so that they could look at themselves.
This little girl in the red dress attached herself to us very early on. She really wanted to just sit and be hugged, but poor Rosie was very nervous at the orphanage and really was upset when I began to love on the other kids. So, it was a difficult balancing act, trying to reassure Rosie that she was not going to be left again, and that Mommy could love on the other children without loving her any less.
My Mom came through and said I needed to go to the next room to see the babies. She was crying and obviously upset. So, I headed next door. There were a row of babies all laid together in the cribs. They were tiny and so cute. Then, turning to look at the row behind me, I saw the source of her tears. In one of the cribs was the tiniest little one I had ever seen outside of a NICU. The huge eyes and ears and the ancient look to the face betrayed the fact that this was not a newborn, but rather an older baby who was suffering the awful effects of starvation. An IV was running through his scalp in an effort to save his life. The nanny pulled back the blanket, and his tiny legs were no bigger around then one of my fingers. His little bottom was bare as they sought to deal with the terrible diaper rash, and his bottom was smaller than the palm of my hand.
About this time Rosie began to come completely unglued saying that she needed the potty,and so I reluctantly tried to pry the little girl I had been holding off of me. She wouldn't be let go, so I found my Mom and asked her to hold her.
I ran Rosie to the potty and then went to visit the rest of the older children, who were in their "cafeteria" singing for our group.
Then, the staff prepared a beautiful coffee ceremony for us while Aster, the beautiful lady who runs the orphanage shared with us about the program they have begun for some of the boys still on the street and showed us the shirts they were selling to try to help fund this program.
Having bought some shirts, I turned around when my Mom began to call me from across the courtyard. She was crying, and said that they wouldn't stop crying if she tried to put them down. She had one of the little girls from the toddler room in her right arm and the little girl I had been holding earlier in the other
She was agitated and spasming again as her face desperately turned trying to hear the sounds in the courtyard. I began to talk to her, and her face turned to me and locked in on my position. When Mom got next to me her arms came out until she found my body. Finding my face again, she pulled it down to hers. And with Rosie still in one arm, I took her with my other, as her head found my shoulder and again she relaxed and quit spasming. She just laid there, stroking my face
with her hands and this time, I could not stop the tears.
Now, don't get me wrong. Kids' Care Orphanage is an amazing place. The staff that I met there are among the most beautiful people I have ever met. There are a team of nannies caring for the children and others who sew and do crafts in an attempt to raise the money needed to feed and care for that many kids. The children who find themselves there are indeed the fortunate ones.
They are fed, clothed, have basic medical treatment, schooling and are loved by the staff. But, the statistics remain the same. Only approximately 40% of the children we met will be adopted. And that is wrong. Children need families. God set up families as his ideal plan for society. Children need the love of a mother and a father.
Now, I'm going to provide a disclaimer here. If you don't want me to make it personal, then you should stop reading now. I'm about to get very personal. Everyone who happens to visit my blog
is welcome to keep reading, but the rest of this is for my fellow Christians. Anyone else is welcome to read, it's just that this portion of the post isn't addressed to you. If you do read it, then there will probably be some of you who will happily use it to point out just how true and what hypocrites we Christians are. And unfortunately, many times you'd be right. But the truth is, we (me included) aren't perfect. We screw it up, get it wrong, ignore it, and mess up just like the rest of the world. The difference: we're forgiven. And, with God's grace, we should be growing and changing. Now, on to the point where I probably step on some toes.
Since we began our adoption journey, I've heard just about every excuse in the book about why people can't adopt. Mostly, from other Christians. I've never asked why, it's just something that's offered. It usually goes something like this: That's so great. You're doing such a wonderful thing. I'm glad God has called you to do this. It's just not something I've been called to do. Then, the reasons why: I'm too old, I have a job, I don't have enough money, I've already got a houseful of kids, I've heard about somebody who had a really bad adoption experience, I'm not sure my husband would want to, and on and on. From elder boards I have heard the excuse that if we allow this ministry, then what other ministries are we going to open ourselves up to.
And truthfully, I'm tired of hearing all of the reasons why people can't adopt. I've heard them all for over a year now, and until now I've just nodded my head. But, I can't anymore. Maybe that was the best thing that came out of my visit to the orphanage that Thursday. I know some people think we're a little "weird" for adopting. I've had people assume I'm infertile, that I'm afraid of being pregnant, that I just want to avoid labor, and a whole host of other reasons why I might have chosen to adopt as opposed to having a baby the "real" way. I've had strangers and friends ask me why? when they find out that we're adopting. And, I'm no longer afraid of being considered weird or of stepping on a few toes. Not intentionally, but if risking stepping on a few toes means that someone else might consider adoption, it's a risk I'm willing to take.
Thursday arrived, and I was excited. Rosie seemed to be doing great with me overall, and we were due to spend the morning at Kids' Care Orphanage, lunch out at a pizza restaurant, and then on to Gelgela Orphanage before a visit to the Lepers Hospital. But really, the excitement was all about the orphanage.
I love kids. Spend any time around me, and you'll figure that out. I always have. I think I got it from my Grandma. We had heard great things about the orphanages from previous families who had travelled, and I was excited to go and love on all of the kids. And, to be completely truthful, I was a little nervous. How could I go to Ethiopia and only bring home one child in need of a home? It was a question I had been asking myself and Gareth for months. I knew all of the reasons why we couldn't/shouldn't try to right now, and I knew the timing wasn't right, but I wondered if my mind and my heart would both manage to deal with that when confronted up front and personally when surrounded by children without a forever family.
After a quick breakfast in our room, we grabbed our suitcases of donations and headed for the bus. After a short drive, we turned down a narrow street and our bus stopped in front of some silver gates.
The gates were opened for us, and we headed in. There in the courtyard were dozens of children, the youngest looking about 3 and the oldest looking around 12 or 13. They were all waiting for us, and everyone (our group) included looked shy and nervous. We said hi, and some of them waved, but no one moved. So after a couple of awkward seconds, I walked about halfway towards them, and then knelt down and asked the nearest little boy if he knew "High 5". With a big smile on his face he came over, gave me 5, and then there was a rush of little kids anxious to give 5s, get hugs, and tell their names. Several of the little girls gave 5s and then wrapped their arms around me, desperate for hugs.
Some of the other families had their candy out, and the whole courtyard was a beehive of activity with children getting candy, wanting hugs, and excited to have their pictures taken so that they could look at themselves.
This little girl in the red dress attached herself to us very early on. She really wanted to just sit and be hugged, but poor Rosie was very nervous at the orphanage and really was upset when I began to love on the other kids. So, it was a difficult balancing act, trying to reassure Rosie that she was not going to be left again, and that Mommy could love on the other children without loving her any less.
I made my way to the entry and was greeted by the sight of a little girl who obviously has some serious handicaps. She was very thin, her dress hung on her, and her hair hadn't all grown in quite right. She was shaking and spasming and obviously very agitated by being able to hear all of the noise outside but not being able to get to it. Her face was looking around, but her eyes weren't focusing on anything in particular. Rosie was very insecure and didn't want to be put down, so I just knelt there in the entryway and began to talk to the little girl. At the sound of my voice she began scooting herself across the floor until she got next to me. Then, her little hands reached out and felt until she found my leg. When she found my leg, she patted her hands up until she found my arms, and then traced my arm up to my shoulder and began trying to pull herself up. I couldn't take it anymore and set Rosie down right next to me with a promise that I wouldn't leave her, and pulled the little girl into my arms. She was so thin with a face that seemed ancient in comparison to her body. Her face had several bad sores on it. Her eyes did not focus and I realized that she was almost certainly blind. Her little hands were patting my body and then felt there way up to my face. She found my face and began to caress it with her hands. She pulled my head down until she could lay her forehead against mine, and then the spasming stopped as her body relaxed. She just wanted to be held. So I held her and whispered to her, as Rosie began to get more and more upset. Eventually, I found myself squatting on the floor so that I could put one arm around Rosie and keep this little one in my arms while I whispered to them both. Then, pulling Rosie up in my other arm, I managed to walk around the small room that held the youngest toddlers. Through that room there was a small closet where 3 more little ones sat, all crying. There were no toys, no soft blankets or cushions, just a plain floor where they sat. I tried talking to them to soothe them, but they weren't content with just being talked to.
My Mom came through and said I needed to go to the next room to see the babies. She was crying and obviously upset. So, I headed next door. There were a row of babies all laid together in the cribs. They were tiny and so cute. Then, turning to look at the row behind me, I saw the source of her tears. In one of the cribs was the tiniest little one I had ever seen outside of a NICU. The huge eyes and ears and the ancient look to the face betrayed the fact that this was not a newborn, but rather an older baby who was suffering the awful effects of starvation. An IV was running through his scalp in an effort to save his life. The nanny pulled back the blanket, and his tiny legs were no bigger around then one of my fingers. His little bottom was bare as they sought to deal with the terrible diaper rash, and his bottom was smaller than the palm of my hand.
About this time Rosie began to come completely unglued saying that she needed the potty,and so I reluctantly tried to pry the little girl I had been holding off of me. She wouldn't be let go, so I found my Mom and asked her to hold her.
I ran Rosie to the potty and then went to visit the rest of the older children, who were in their "cafeteria" singing for our group.
Then, the staff prepared a beautiful coffee ceremony for us while Aster, the beautiful lady who runs the orphanage shared with us about the program they have begun for some of the boys still on the street and showed us the shirts they were selling to try to help fund this program.
Having bought some shirts, I turned around when my Mom began to call me from across the courtyard. She was crying, and said that they wouldn't stop crying if she tried to put them down. She had one of the little girls from the toddler room in her right arm and the little girl I had been holding earlier in the other
She was agitated and spasming again as her face desperately turned trying to hear the sounds in the courtyard. I began to talk to her, and her face turned to me and locked in on my position. When Mom got next to me her arms came out until she found my body. Finding my face again, she pulled it down to hers. And with Rosie still in one arm, I took her with my other, as her head found my shoulder and again she relaxed and quit spasming. She just laid there, stroking my face
with her hands and this time, I could not stop the tears.
I held her and cried until it was time to leave. Walking with her up to the entryway of the building she lived in, I squatted down so that I could leave her. The problem was, I didn't want to. I knew that even if I wanted to I couldn't take her away with me, but she obviously wanted nothing more than to be loved and held. As I knelt in the entry way stroking her and crying one of the nannies came to the door and put her hands on my head and begged me not to cry. But how could I not? This little girl is one of the "fortunate" ones. She will not starve to death on the streets. But, neither will she have access to the medical care and therapy that she obviously needs to be able to reach her full potential. Just a brief time with her showed that she needs excellent nutrition, a team of therapists, and medical and sight evaluations by a team of Dr.s that she will almost certainly never find in Ethiopia. But more than that, she needs the love of a family. I couldn't take her away with me, and I had no idea if I would ever be able to afford the expense of another international adoption. I was certain that if we ever did again, it wouldn't be in time for this little one. And given her needs, the chances of another family adopting her is almost none.
Now, don't get me wrong. Kids' Care Orphanage is an amazing place. The staff that I met there are among the most beautiful people I have ever met. There are a team of nannies caring for the children and others who sew and do crafts in an attempt to raise the money needed to feed and care for that many kids. The children who find themselves there are indeed the fortunate ones.
They are fed, clothed, have basic medical treatment, schooling and are loved by the staff. But, the statistics remain the same. Only approximately 40% of the children we met will be adopted. And that is wrong. Children need families. God set up families as his ideal plan for society. Children need the love of a mother and a father.
Now, I'm going to provide a disclaimer here. If you don't want me to make it personal, then you should stop reading now. I'm about to get very personal. Everyone who happens to visit my blog
is welcome to keep reading, but the rest of this is for my fellow Christians. Anyone else is welcome to read, it's just that this portion of the post isn't addressed to you. If you do read it, then there will probably be some of you who will happily use it to point out just how true and what hypocrites we Christians are. And unfortunately, many times you'd be right. But the truth is, we (me included) aren't perfect. We screw it up, get it wrong, ignore it, and mess up just like the rest of the world. The difference: we're forgiven. And, with God's grace, we should be growing and changing. Now, on to the point where I probably step on some toes.
Since we began our adoption journey, I've heard just about every excuse in the book about why people can't adopt. Mostly, from other Christians. I've never asked why, it's just something that's offered. It usually goes something like this: That's so great. You're doing such a wonderful thing. I'm glad God has called you to do this. It's just not something I've been called to do. Then, the reasons why: I'm too old, I have a job, I don't have enough money, I've already got a houseful of kids, I've heard about somebody who had a really bad adoption experience, I'm not sure my husband would want to, and on and on. From elder boards I have heard the excuse that if we allow this ministry, then what other ministries are we going to open ourselves up to.
And truthfully, I'm tired of hearing all of the reasons why people can't adopt. I've heard them all for over a year now, and until now I've just nodded my head. But, I can't anymore. Maybe that was the best thing that came out of my visit to the orphanage that Thursday. I know some people think we're a little "weird" for adopting. I've had people assume I'm infertile, that I'm afraid of being pregnant, that I just want to avoid labor, and a whole host of other reasons why I might have chosen to adopt as opposed to having a baby the "real" way. I've had strangers and friends ask me why? when they find out that we're adopting. And, I'm no longer afraid of being considered weird or of stepping on a few toes. Not intentionally, but if risking stepping on a few toes means that someone else might consider adoption, it's a risk I'm willing to take.
Here's why we chose to adopt: James 1:27 -Pure and Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
In light of James 1: 27, the answer to the question why adopt is, why not?
I wonder, why are our churches so good at emphasising the keeping yourself pure and spotless and so bad at noticing the first half of the verse? Why does the church no longer recognise its' God-given responsibility to care for widows and orphans? Could it be that today's church finds itself largely irrelevant because the world no longer sees in us the love that is to be our trademark? I think so.
Mahatma Gandhi has a saying that should cause every Christian to think twice and evaluate his life. He is quoted as saying: I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. They are so little like your Christ.
I never thought I would find myself quoting Gandhi, but I think he has a very valid point. Not that Christianity will ever be accepted by everyone. The Bible tells us that. But, the truths in God's Word might be a whole lot more appealing if those outside the church saw those of us inside the church truly seeking to live out the entirety of the Gospel. That's how we become relevant. Not the relevancy of ignoring the absolute truths and compromising what the Bible has to say about sin and death and hell and all of the other things that our post-modern society finds offensive, but the relevancy that comes through showing what the love of Christ in our lives and over-flowing into our actions looks like.
Want to show a watching world why Christianity is different? Show them God's plan for the widow and orphan put into action. I was asked last year by a non-Christian why if God is real and our God is love would He allow suffering, especially by orphans. At the time, I had no answer that could make him happy. But since then, I have wondered if one day when we stand before God and someone finally asks him why He didn't provide families for the lonely as He had promised (Psalm 68:6), if there won't be many of us who will be ashamed when His answer is, "But I did. It was yours. You were my plan for the lonely".
Want to find an effective way to share the love of Christ with a needy child? Adopt one and show them what love is, then you have an open window to show them the love of God.
Want to show the world that Christianity is relevant? Live it out in its' entirety.
Want to experience love in a way that you never have? Consider adoption.
Want to understand your adoption in Christ in a newer deeper way? Try adopting yourself. This past year has given me an understanding of what it means to be adopted by God in a way I never thought possible. And it's still happening. As Rosie bonds with our family and I am given opportunity to pursue her with my love, to love her when she's unlovable, and to watch her grow into our family, I can see a living picture in front of my eyes of what my adoption by God looks like. I am amazed by the love of a God who would pursue a relationship with me.
Now, I'm not saying that everyone has to adopt a child. That would be great, and I wish everyone could and would, but I also recognise that there are legitimate reasons why some people can't and maybe even shouldn't. Adopting out of a sense of duty or just because you feel sorry for orphans isn't enough. Adoption isn't easy. Even after all of the paperwork and waiting is done, it isn't necessarily going to be easy. If you do it, you need to be convinced that this is God's plan for your family. And so, I challenge you. Have you seriously considered whether this could be God's plan for your family? If not, then you should pray about it. Ask God to reveal His will to you and then set out to seriously explore whether He might want you to be a forever family for a waiting child. If the answer is yes, there are literally thousands of children both here in the States and all over the world, who are waiting for a family, waiting to be loved.
If not, there are still a multitude of ways that you can actively set out to obey James 1:27. I hope to highlight some of those ways in future posts.
Have I stepped on your toes? I hope not, but if I have, then forgive me, but I hope you'll use it as a catalyst to explore whether you can honestly say you are living out James 1:27 in its' entirety. If you aren't, I hope you'll take a serious look at adoption and pop back over the next several weeks to explore other ways of caring for widows and orphans.
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