Court is now quickly approaching. On Friday a judge in Ethiopia will decide whether or not all of the paperwork is complete, at which point he will have the power to make Rosie legally our daughter. Emotionally, she's been our daughter since January 6, but we need that paperwork to be able to bring her home.
It has been an interesting couple of weeks. It has been a lot like the end of my pregnancies with the boys (minus the puffy ankles). I am tired. At almost two years into the process, I am really, really tired. My emotions are very close to the surface, and as such it takes very little for the tears to flow.
My mind has also shifted into overtime. Many of the last nights have been spent laying awake and thinking.
Up until last week, I honestly couldn't think of anything worse than not passing court. Then, we heard the new TB guidelines issued by the CDC and found out that if Rosie were found to have TB when she goes for her visa physical that she would not be granted a visa until her treatment was complete-at least a 6 month delay. And on that day, I couldn't think of anything worse than that.
But regardless of how things feel, I knew that there were things that were worse. And so began the battle for truth to win in my mind and emotions.
Truth: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)
Truth: Regardless of the outcome of court on Friday, it is for my good.
Truth: As much as I love Rosie and want to hold her and love on her and take care of her and protect her, I know that my God loves her more, can hold her closer, and can take better care of her than I ever will be able to.
And so, once again, it is about more than just an adoption. It is about learning to live out the reality of what I say I believe is true. Learning to live as if what matters most about Friday is not whether or not we pass court. What's really important is learning to trust God completely for the outcome and praise Him regardless of whether I can see the good in a situation or not.
Truth: That's not an easy thing to do. There are moments of perfect peace, but there are the moments when it is a battle of the will to choose to concentrate on what is true, not what my emotions tell me. And I don't always win those battles.
I am thankful for friends who are here to encourage as we approach the end of this stage of the
journey. Yesterday afternoon was spent with my mentor and friend. I won't presume to tell her story online, as it is her story not mine, but suffice it to say that she is walking through a valley darker than any that I could imagine. My worst fear has come true in her life, and although her heart breaks and mine breaks for her, it is still a challenge and encouragement to see her and hear her making the choice to rest in what she knows is true, even when our "human" eyes can't see how the situation is for God's glory or her good.
Truth: I will never (or at least as long as I am on this earth) fully understand all of what God is doing. I have human vision, not God vision. Isaiah 55: 8 "My thoughts are completely different from yours," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
And so, today and tomorrow and Friday, I WILL rest. Not in a fatalistic, "well God's in control and I can't do anything about it-type way" or in a "what's supposed to be will be-type way", but in an "I am learning that trusting God because His ways are far better for me and my family than anything that I could imagine or hope or plan and so I will learn to trust and lean and rest-type way".
By the way, if you run into me in the next couple of days, remind me of that,okay??!!
Loving, Laughing, and Learning to Embrace My Life as a Living Sacrifice
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Rosie's Room
Finally, the nursery is finished! As promised, here are some pictures:
The view entering her room
Rosie's toddler bed, compliments of Daddy, and quilt, compliments of Favorite Auntie Keri
I love the rug we found for in front of her bed. It's a rag rug and so soft and squishy underfoot
Close-up of her name and butterflies above her bed
Chest of drawers, shelves, and more butterflies
Flower bouquet from Pottery Barn Kids
(I usually resist all things Pottery Barn due to prices, but got these on sale!)
Rosie's doll ( the first one I bought for her) , the doll bed (compliments of my friend and mentor, Linda), and little quilt (made by Mommy)
I'm working on a little mattress for the doll's bed now. Other signs around the house point to a 3rd little one soon to join us. There's a 3rd hooded towel hanging in the children's bathroom, a 3rd car seat in the minivan, another stool under the bar and a 5th chair at the dining table (with a pink booster in it).
I'm working on a little mattress for the doll's bed now. Other signs around the house point to a 3rd little one soon to join us. There's a 3rd hooded towel hanging in the children's bathroom, a 3rd car seat in the minivan, another stool under the bar and a 5th chair at the dining table (with a pink booster in it).
I finished my last round of typhoid vaccine today and have everything packed except for my clothes and toiletries.
Our court date is Friday in Ethiopia(somewhere between midnight-7am here). We should know definite travel dates within 4-5 days provided we pass.
As someone who likes to make plans and be organized, I really dislike this state of limbo waiting for court and definite travel dates. Staying busy helps some, but I will be so glad when Friday is here. Gareth is taking the day off to be home with me when the phone call comes to celebrate together or to have hugs and support if we don't.
I'm sure we'll post as soon as we know something.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Spring Break
I hadn't made any plans for Spring Break. I was just planning on plowing ahead with school.
What I hadn't counted on was the amount of noise that could be made by all of the neighbor kids who weren't in school.
In the end I decided it was just too mean to make the kids sit and do schoolwork while listening to everyone else outside playing. So, instead we enjoyed a week outside. The weather was fantastic, and we enjoyed getting our vegetable garden planted. Spinach, mixed leaf lettuces, radish, carrot, onion, peas,cabbage, broccoli, and brussel sprouts are now happily at home in their raised beds. After it warms up some more I'll put in the green beans, tomatoes, and peppers. I hope that we do as well this year as last and that soon we'll have lots of pictures of garden produce! Our nectarine tree is in full bloom, and we hope to put in a self-pollinating apple and cherry this Spring.
Noah really got into the gardening this year. He loved helping to prepare the soil and dig the holes for the plants. It was great to see him carefully measuring the spacing between onions to get nice even rows. Hopefully this year I have him convinced that he won't get to eat any nectarines if he pulls them all off of the tree so that he can see them better!
The other favorite activity this week has been bike riding. Nathan got a bike from Grandpa and Grandma for his birthday, and he loves it.
This week-end has found me sewing curtains, painting shelves, and making up a few more butterflies for the nursery. Hopefully I'll be able to post pictures of the finished product tomorrow. But for now, I'd better see if I can get those curtains and shelves up!
What I hadn't counted on was the amount of noise that could be made by all of the neighbor kids who weren't in school.
In the end I decided it was just too mean to make the kids sit and do schoolwork while listening to everyone else outside playing. So, instead we enjoyed a week outside. The weather was fantastic, and we enjoyed getting our vegetable garden planted. Spinach, mixed leaf lettuces, radish, carrot, onion, peas,cabbage, broccoli, and brussel sprouts are now happily at home in their raised beds. After it warms up some more I'll put in the green beans, tomatoes, and peppers. I hope that we do as well this year as last and that soon we'll have lots of pictures of garden produce! Our nectarine tree is in full bloom, and we hope to put in a self-pollinating apple and cherry this Spring.
Noah really got into the gardening this year. He loved helping to prepare the soil and dig the holes for the plants. It was great to see him carefully measuring the spacing between onions to get nice even rows. Hopefully this year I have him convinced that he won't get to eat any nectarines if he pulls them all off of the tree so that he can see them better!
The other favorite activity this week has been bike riding. Nathan got a bike from Grandpa and Grandma for his birthday, and he loves it.
This week-end has found me sewing curtains, painting shelves, and making up a few more butterflies for the nursery. Hopefully I'll be able to post pictures of the finished product tomorrow. But for now, I'd better see if I can get those curtains and shelves up!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Adoption Update
We've finally had an update about new Embassy guidelines. It's happy and not so happy news. Happy news-if we pass court we should get to keep our travel dates. Not so happy news, the CDC is implementing extremely strict guidelines regarding their new TB testing policy. Every child will be tested before their visa is issued. For toddlers and older children, this will mean a skin test. For babies and children under 2 this will involve a gastric aspiration, which means a 2-3 day hospital stay. If a positive skin test is obtained, then the child will have a chest x-ray. If the chest x-ray is suspicious, then a sputum test will be obtained. In Ethiopia, a culture of a sputum test can take up to 8 weeks. If the sputum test is positive, then the child will not be able to come home until they have completed 6 months of drug therapy in Addis under direct supervision by the consulates medical team.
I agree that not bringing active TB into the USA is a good thing, but my heart breaks for those children who will have yet another long delay while they are tested, re-tested, and for those who will have to be treated. Treatment could begin in Addis and then continue under supervision in the USA. I'm not sure who to write to, but I'm going to find out. Anyone out there know the answer to that?
Anyone who thinks that it is in a child's best interest to remain in an orphange instead of with a loving family who is waiting for them obviously doesn't have their head screwed on straight. And, I can't imagine that it would actually be that difficult to arrange for treatment to begin in Addis for a couple of weeks and then to transition smoothly to the health dept. or family dr. here in the States. Easier on the waiting families, better for the child, and still not a risk to the American public-everyone would win. Oh the frustration of bureaucracy in action! And another opportunity to learn to trust God with all of the circumstances of our life. It makes an interesting tight rope, trusting the sovereignty of God while still working to fight for justice for the poor and oppressed and common sense in government.
Please pray for us. Court is 8 days away. There are 11 families with court next week and it is now a near-constant battle not to give in to worry. Passing court, the chance of positive tb tests, delays in the ability to travel, all of them fight for my attention, as I fight to concentrate on what is before me and the truth of God's Word.
Please pray for Rosie. That she will be healthy, that she will be at peace, and that God will prepare her for all of the changes coming her way.
I agree that not bringing active TB into the USA is a good thing, but my heart breaks for those children who will have yet another long delay while they are tested, re-tested, and for those who will have to be treated. Treatment could begin in Addis and then continue under supervision in the USA. I'm not sure who to write to, but I'm going to find out. Anyone out there know the answer to that?
Anyone who thinks that it is in a child's best interest to remain in an orphange instead of with a loving family who is waiting for them obviously doesn't have their head screwed on straight. And, I can't imagine that it would actually be that difficult to arrange for treatment to begin in Addis for a couple of weeks and then to transition smoothly to the health dept. or family dr. here in the States. Easier on the waiting families, better for the child, and still not a risk to the American public-everyone would win. Oh the frustration of bureaucracy in action! And another opportunity to learn to trust God with all of the circumstances of our life. It makes an interesting tight rope, trusting the sovereignty of God while still working to fight for justice for the poor and oppressed and common sense in government.
Please pray for us. Court is 8 days away. There are 11 families with court next week and it is now a near-constant battle not to give in to worry. Passing court, the chance of positive tb tests, delays in the ability to travel, all of them fight for my attention, as I fight to concentrate on what is before me and the truth of God's Word.
Please pray for Rosie. That she will be healthy, that she will be at peace, and that God will prepare her for all of the changes coming her way.
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